Hellish!!!

My life at certain points has become H***!!! A complete and total nightmare! For days on end OLA has been wound tighter than a spring and melting on a regular basis. We can not figure out what is triggering this change? But last night took things to a completely new level. OLA found out shortly after school that BBA was getting a new pair of shoes and he was not. Then the fireworks began for the next five hours (no you did not read that wrong). He was yelling, name calling, talking back, throwing things, ripping things, and just basically out of control. At one point we finally called a friend who has some specialized training to try and intervene. All though the worst was calmed I think the friend was even a bit frustrated by the time he left. The worst was it almost meant a trip to the emergency room for admittance because he was so out of control that we could not get him to de-escalate. This morning we are still cleaning up the mess. Believe it or not the pictures were taken after some cleaning had taken place. He was H*** bent on entire destruction. I hate my life sometimes I don't know how I am going to continue swimming through this set of rough waters. There is no escape. I don't dare leave when OLA is this way because the rest of the family will fall apart too. It's a mess and I don't just mean the house. I'm so tired and I honestly don't know who or where to turn too. If you haven't lived with a child like OLA it is so easy to pass judgement on him and on us as parents. I know I've been living that nightmare too. If you don't live with them you DON"T understand so please don't judge it makes our place a whole lot uglier and lonelier. Too tired to swim and sinking fast is where I'm at.

The bean bag was ripped and completely unstuffed - its contents all over the floor.

Bean bag filling, bedding, books and other items in his room.

Torn curtain - at first I thought he had cut this. But no he was so angry he ripped it even through the hem at the bottom.

The squash met their untimely end.

The mattress was torn - it is only a year old.

It was also colored on.

This is what is left of the mess in the living room - several boxes of cereal got untimely launches across the floor.

This is what is left of the mess in the kitchen after some clean-up had already taken place.

That is a pile of books that he ripped off the book shelf and then poured the contents of two Lego buckets over.

The clothes in his closet torn down and thrown on the floor.

More bean bag stuffing and a piece of a torn coloring book.

He ripped a book into pieces. This makes me sad - books were never a target until he took lessons from a four year old foster child we had who did this all the time. Now he uses it to up the anti.

Crayon madness on one wall.

The shelf that was unloaded. He tried  for more but I forced him to move somewhere else.

This wall map was hanging where the crayon madness is now present.

As I said these pictures are only part of the destruction - after some clean up had already taken place. Drowning, Drowning, Drowning with no way to find relief. Hellish is the word and I'm not going to apologize because it is the reality of this part of my life and it is taking over.