Struggle!!

    Last night I cried!  I finished the book "Braided Cord: Tough Times in and Out" by Liz Kulp.  Liz is a young lady in her mid-twenties who has FASD. The book made me sad. I cried for her and her parents. I cried for the children with FASD and their families. And I cried for myself, my family, and mostly for my little boy.
    I worry about how to teach him to be all that he can be. He is only seven - but seven with a twist. A twist that will never go away. I worry that he won't be successful. That his dreams will only be that DREAMS! Maybe, he won't get a chance to live them. I'm not even sure how to remap my own dreams for him. Yes, it's about moms too. Moms that I know have dreams for their kids - about being happy, having friends, school, community, and success.  But, most of all I worry that his unchecked impulses will hurt someone else and in so doing end all the dreams - either in jail or death. It's a scary thing to look at your seven year old and have these thoughts of his future.  Their is hope - I know - room to grow - a chance at success - but first you have to wade through the blackest nights.
    I wish I could change somethings for him. I doubt his birth mom knew what might lay in store for him when she drank. She may not even have known yet that she was pregnant. But like the small pebble dropped in the pond that creates a little ripple that grows and expands - we are reaping the mighty wave as the ripple meets the shore. 
     So we wade in - one battle at a time. Sometimes we win!  Other times we lose!! But if we are very blessed we will win the War! I only wish all women understood - It is never safe to drink when you are pregnant - it isn't just your life - but your babies too.  Those drinks can lead to a lifetime of struggles and worries for your unborn baby. My little tattered angle is a miracle - we love him. But, Oh how my heart aches for him. And some nights I cry!!!