There are a lot of heart aches that go with parenting children and especially children who have extra struggles. But one of the hardest is watching your own child's heart break. Over the summer OLA's best friend from Kindergarten and First Grade moved away. We spent many hours praying that he would find another really good friend and we thought he had. But about two weeks ago there was an incident at school. It was while the two of them where goofing around and purely accidental. But it put the brakes on that friendship. The incident wasn't a recurrence of behaviors and both boys stories (told separately and before they saw each other again) where almost identical in nature (we know this from talking to the other boy's parents) but the results where the same as if it was all OLA's fault and as if this was a repeat problem. The hardest part was the other day when OLA got in the car and promptly announced "Mom, J. can't come to my birthday party because his parents told him he can't play with me anymore." I was stunned to say the least - because his birthday is still seven weeks away, and because we had talked to his parents. J's parents had assured us that they understood children who occasionally miss social clues because they have a child that does this (I don't think so - big fat lie!!!). And also because the incident was accidental and both boys stories matched. It about broke my heart to see this absolute rejection. The saddest part is that J has always excepted OLA with all his little quirks, the incident was neither boys fault, and J was willing to just move on and so was OLA. Unfortunately J's parents aren't - although they said everything was okay and worked out. And the two of them can't even really do things together at school because J would get in trouble - his mom works at the school- unless it is an in class assignment. How sad. =( It would have been easier to accept it if the incident was a repeat occurrence or even not accidental. I guess we are still praying for a friend who can accept OLA as he is and maybe truly show him the ropes when it comes to social situations. I guess I'd better pray for a couple of parents who also understand in the deal. Mean while we will keep trying to help him learn to better read and understand those cues too.
(and in case anyone was wondering - I was purposely vague as to the nature of the offense. In behalf of OLA's feelings on the matter.)
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
This week we received OLA's midterm report paper. It came as no surprise that his spelling scores are down. That his language art's scores are down ( he doesn't get contractions). And he is having trouble counting money. But according to the powers that be he just needs to slow down because they've seen him count money and know that he can do it. (He can do it some days but not others). The same is being said of spelling - he just needs to slow down and think about what they have been studying- never mind that his spelling has never been great:( . Also the statement was made that he needs to work on his handwriting neatness - Have they been listening at all this year. Handwriting is difficult for him - this is why I have been scribing for him!!!!!!!! Can I scream (AAAAAAAHHHH!!!!) and throw things. While they think I'm not winning any mother of the year awards (and maybe I'm not), they continue to tune out anything I say, don't bother to read any of the reports from his medical records (they have these in his file), and are convinced that they are just going to fix OLA -because I obviously can't!! (Another big huge scream - AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!). I think I'll take up surfing and learn to ride the waves. (LOL)