Survival Mode!!

Survival Mode!  That's what I told the teacher at Parent/Teachers' conferences last night.  She ask how I thought OLA was doing. I told her that I think he is struggling. Homework is a battle, reading is a battle, focusing in class is a battle, getting him up and going in the morning is a battle, getting him to want to go to school is a battle, bedtime is a battle, brushing teeth and bathing are battles, eating or stop eating (depending on the scenario is a battle), going to church is a battle, staying home from scouts when brother goes is a battle. Each day is a series of battles. Are we making any progress in the WAR!??? Honestly, there are days that I don't know??  His regular teacher and his reading teacher say that in class he is as good as gold (hurray, for one small miracle - at least for now). But, he struggling - we are all struggling. Sometimes this road seems oh, so very long and oh, so very, very lonely. Is there anyone out there who understands this battle.  He is back in reading intervention after one quarter of being on his own. He is also being signed up for one - on - one tutoring this summer.  The people who know of our battle try and understand - but they don't - not really. Although, they try - or at least some of them do!! I get so tired of watching people pass judgement on us as parents or on OLA. Why, oh Why did life pick this challenge for him!! 
As his mom my heart breaks - sometimes a hundred times a day! He tries so hard to get it right. But, often he does not.  And some days even my patience is tried to the braking point - I feel drowned by the waves of that ripple racing to the shore. I wonder - will there ever be success for my little boy? Will there be anymore to life than lots of heartbreak, missed opportunities and disappearing dreams.  And often I feel lost - oh, so lost! Where do I go to find him help? How do I help him? How do I help BBA? How do I keep our family from unravelling at the seams? How do I help others understand this disability that is often times invisible to the naked eye? How do I become an advocate for him and help him do the same? The emotions are raw and painful for I love him so. And I still have so many hopes and dreams for him! But, do I still dare to dream - today, but maybe not tomorrow - tomorrow, but maybe not today!!  And so the battle goes on. Maybe, someday, we will win the war! But for now it is back into the trenches. Blessed, to be able to fight another day - one battle, one wave, one heartache, at a time.