Tonight as I was laying with OLA while he fell asleep I found myself reflecting on how lonely some battles can seem. I'm am currently the president of our women's service organization at church. Last night I was in a meeting with a couple of other women - we were discussing the various needs of families in the congregation and what we could do to help. It is awesome to have the opportunity to help others - but at the same time it brought a real pang of loneliness to me. I wish I had even one person in whom I could confided the depth of the pain and loneliness this battle we are fighting can bring. I do not have a single person with which I can share those feelings. It is a very, very lonely place to be. Sometime I wish I had a truly non-judgemental shoulder to cry on. But, alas, at this point in time it is not to be. So for now I will continue to swim alone and hope in doing so I don't drown. I wish someone truly understood OLA, our family, and my soul.
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