Nothing Like . . . .

There is nothing like Mother's Day to make you feel like a failure. Today was one of those days where I think I'll just quit swimming and let myself drowned. I don't even want a life preserver tossed to me. Church has become one big colossal joke. OLA can't/won't  (however you want to look at it) sit still, he won't stay in the children's class.  I just don't want to fight it anymore. I'm so tired of the looks, the questions, and the if you would only?  Let's face it when it comes to being a mother to OLA I am just one big, old failure. I obviously don't know how to get it right.  I love that little man - I would do anything I thought was in his best interest for him - but obviously I'm no good at deciding what is best for him. Others have all the answers to what is best and I flunked that course in school.  I hate Mother's Day and I hate Sundays. The wave was big today and I think I'll just sink to the bottom and never come up for air. I'm done!!!!