A Bunch of Bunk

We saw a psychologist today - what a waste of time. We sat there for over an hour and listen to him tell us all the things we were doing wrong as parents to create our child's behaviors. We just need to take control and take back our house. We ask him point blank to give us some ideas/tools to that would help us do this. But we just got the hem and haw act from him. He even watch OLA go into full melt down mode after being told no (and no giving in on our part). We held firm - but obviously we are doing something wrong as parents. It was he who finally said after about thirty minutes of watching us standing firm and OLA in melt down mode that he decided our time slot was done and we should just leave. In fact he told us our son was a paradox - he'd never seen a child with ADHD/ODD/SID behave quite like OLA was behaving. He said OLA was quite smart  and didn't have the standard physical build of a child with fetal alcohol.  In fact he ask me point blank if I had ever seen a kid with full blown FSA because our son didn't have the physical features. And I countered "did you know that only about 10 percent of children on the FASD spectrum actually have any real physical features." By the time we left I felt about two inches tall and like the worst possible parent in the world. All of my son's problems are obviously my doing - had nothing to do with the fact that his birth mother smoked, did cocaine and drank while she was pregnant. (And no I don't believe his birth mother ever intentionally set out to hurt him in any way- but alcohol damages unborn babies). By the time we left I was so angry I want to participate in a few juvenile activities against him myself!  Sigh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and SCREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There is just no winning!!! It is obvious that we are terrible parents!!!! AAARRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!